Today I was very upset because my internet connection was down. I found myself into a sea fret that for some moments could not be controlled.
“Why? Why am like this?”
“Because you need that internet” an internal voice replied.
“Do I need it? How could I live without it in the past, when no one heard of its existence?”
“Until you taste its flavor, you don’t have a greed for it.”
“Who are you?” my curiosity started to punch.
“Don’t you recognize me? I am your Ego. You always rely on me.”
Ego… my Ego… yes, I know it. I know it very well. I am sometimes not sure who is in charge here… me or my Ego. It seems to be very intelligent but somehow it makes me feel uncomfortable. Or… I am wondering… is it possible to feel comfortable only when it is active? Hmmm… my active Ego… does it also take a pause?
Do I need it or not? I know it is always doing its best. I know it does not try to hurt me. But… when it’s in charge… I discover lots of bitter flavors.
I am wondering… is it really so or is it only my perception? When I’m feeling happy… who exactly makes me feel this way? Who can guarantee that it’s not my Ego again?
It’s been a long time since I discovered that I could not live without my Ego. In fact… any forward steps I have ever made were caused by a springboard handled by the Ego.
Yes! I need it, I appreciate it. My Ego is only doing its job. So… why has it made me feel so nervous today, is it only because something that I took for granted was suddenly taken away from me?
Maybe I have to make a deal with it. I am wondering if through negotiating with my Ego, will something in my perception change? Do I need to treat it well… as perhaps a bribe would need to be treated?
Maybe it’s time to thank it for the perspective it has given me; in fact it is doing its best, given all the belief systems we have accepted on this planet. How can my Ego do more for me, when it has such limited tools to work with?
Therefore, instead of criticizing it and fighting against it… maybe it is better to make a partnership with it. We can sit around the table together to negotiate and sign an agreement.
“This is my responsibility… that’s yours… let’s sign here.”
I am wondering… how my life will be if together we would shake hands and say:
“Done! Deal!”
Adding to yOUR conversation. You know numbers and their meanings and their connection with different concepts are big, as they hold importance, in the world of Jewishness and well the number 72 and its connection to the Names Of God which is pretty revered in other belief systems.
Now I am going out on a limb to ask you to consider that the name of God in Exodus 3:14 is “I AM” Now break this down and here is the limb I am going out on that God is made up of particles……. inside the nothingness that Gershon is sharing about is the vapor part and condenses into atoms with their parts, proton, electron and neutron and all the elements that make up earth and then there is the particles of God that……I am a Lee particle of God, I am a MC particle of God, I am a Gershon particle of God and so on……
Put all the particles together and we together make up God or the idea of God! If my thinking is incorrect then please help correct it. 🙂
Continuing……now I, is a pronoun in English but also refers to the ego. So I am now going to try to tie this back into responsibility.
I don’t believe that anyone has said or contemplated that the word ego is equal to that of 27 (5+7+15) which of course is the reverse of 72 and a difference of 50.
If one were to look at the universal power symbol one sees that the “i” means ON and thus energizes the device and if all is energy as science is claiming this word ego can be broken down into “energy go” and thus making a complete circle back to our God is “i” which looks like a one…. and so God or I is really controlling things from inside the “I room”.
Fifty is connected to the letter mem and this is definitely connected to memory and well you can add a lot more to this but this seems plausible to me but I could have never done this on my own nor without you!!
Just don’t tell anyone lest they try to commit me. 🙂 Now if you will excuse me, I have some responsibilities to take care of.
I can see why engineering can be so confusing 🙂 but you just learn as you go along
Your love for letters and numbers always amazes me, Lee. Thank you for the comment. It is highly appreciated.
In Jewish mysticism the Ego is the uppermost part of our brain we can talk to about things that exist. It is called “There” meaning things that are there.
In other cultures, ego is a recognition that “I exist.” In other cultures, the ego is automatically thought of as bad. They are using the word as a substitute for arrogant pride.
Beyond that is the “Nothingness.” It is that part of our brain that we can’t speak to directly except through questions, answers and ACTIONS. Do not confuse nothingness with absence of something. “Nothing” contains everything we will learn in the future.
I like to have internal conversations with my “Coach.” We ask questions, form theories, and then take actions with the body. This is three parties — the conscious, subconscious, and physical.
Bring them all to the table and you have the creation cycle.
Thank you so much, Gershon for your comment. It sure makes sense. What you say about “Nothing” reminds me of a talk I witnessed some time ago.
Someone said that is the moment to talk about Nothing… meaning about Time. And this because past, present and future coexist and in fact they don’t exist.
It was a mind blowing theme for sure!