Today I was very upset because my internet connection was down. I found myself into a sea fret that for some moments could not be controlled.
“Why? Why am like this?”
“Because you need that internet” an internal voice replied.
“Do I need it? How could I live without it in the past, when no one heard of its existence?”
“Until you taste its flavor, you don’t have a greed for it.”
“Who are you?” my curiosity started to punch.
“Don’t you recognize me? I am your Ego. You always rely on me.”
Ego… my Ego… yes, I know it. I know it very well. I am sometimes not sure who is in charge here… me or my Ego. It seems to be very intelligent but somehow it makes me feel uncomfortable. Or… I am wondering… is it possible to feel comfortable only when it is active? Hmmm… my active Ego… does it also take a pause?
Do I need it or not? I know it is always doing its best. I know it does not try to hurt me. But… when it’s in charge… I discover lots of bitter flavors.
I am wondering… is it really so or is it only my perception? When I’m feeling happy… who exactly makes me feel this way? Who can guarantee that it’s not my Ego again?
It’s been a long time since I discovered that I could not live without my Ego. In fact… any forward steps I have ever made were caused by a springboard handled by the Ego.
Yes! I need it, I appreciate it. My Ego is only doing its job. So… why has it made me feel so nervous today, is it only because something that I took for granted was suddenly taken away from me?
Maybe I have to make a deal with it. I am wondering if through negotiating with my Ego, will something in my perception change? Do I need to treat it well… as perhaps a bribe would need to be treated?
Maybe it’s time to thank it for the perspective it has given me; in fact it is doing its best, given all the belief systems we have accepted on this planet. How can my Ego do more for me, when it has such limited tools to work with?
Therefore, instead of criticizing it and fighting against it… maybe it is better to make a partnership with it. We can sit around the table together to negotiate and sign an agreement.
“This is my responsibility… that’s yours… let’s sign here.”
I am wondering… how my life will be if together we would shake hands and say: