“What is happiness? Can we find happiness and keep it? Can we be happy or not?”
This is how we ended our last talk on this theme.
- You are seeking happiness.
- I am pursuing happiness.
- We are all looking for happiness.
However, what is it that we are looking for?
People define happiness in so many ways. According with the epoch that they live in, the given definition changes its object of interest even if the form remains similar.
Today the definition is as follows:
Happiness (noun) = the state of being happy; an experience that makes you happy; (obsolete)good fortune, prosperity; a state of well-being and contentment; a pleasurable or satisfying experience.
Happy (adjective) = feeling pleasure and enjoyment because of your life, situation, etc.
You can conclude that happiness is temporary and lasts as long as the source that caused it persists.
Everything seemed to be so simple. However, I am wondering… If things are so simple, why are we noticing today an increasing level of depression? Statistics shows that the percentage of depressed people in one form or another is growing at an alarming rate.
Here, we can make an analysis about depression, but I do not intend to concentrate our minds on this subject. My intention is only to understand what happiness is, how we can find it and more than anything… how we can keep it.
For some unknown reasons, I am not pleased with what the definitions are pointing to. My idea of being happy is connected with the notion of permanency. At least this is what I want to reach in this life.
After so many years of questions and answers that my mind has come up with, while still trying to find the meaning of this life, I concluded that we came here on this planet to experience happiness. A continuous happiness where we can enjoy anything even if from a human point of view, there are moments when we perceive sadness also. I really believe that we are here to succeed to enjoy any experience… sadness or joy… and this perception will give us the Happiness that we seek.
Thus, what is happiness?
“Once upon a time…” is the starting point of most fairy tales; those fairy tales which made us so happy when we were children. Nevertheless, how could they make us happy?
Well… Do you remember how the stories were always ending? The stories were always ending with a promise… the deepest promise that we can ever receive… “And they lived happily ever after”.
What a bliss we can sense through these words? I do not know about you, but when I was a child, these words fed me in a way in which no other food could ever feed my body. The promise that happiness exists… the promise that no matter how the story begins and no matter of how many obstacles someone can encounter during their life… at the end of everything lays something deeper, hidden, secret… The Final Happiness!
The eyes of the child inside me could see this and the child’s heart believed this with all its cells.
As the years pass by, we step through this life and we see, hear, smell, and touch… things which sometimes make us wonder if what we thought of as happiness while being children can be reached.
Life goes by and you notice that it is not exactly the fairy tale you expected it to be. Yes, you have moments of bliss… but… is that the final bliss your souls is looking for? How can something be final if in the next moment after you feel it, it disappears like it was never there?
Have you noticed? You desire something that will make you happy to obtain it. However, what happens after you obtain it? How long will that happiness lay inside your heart?
When you want an ice cream so badly that you think you will die if you do not get to taste it… there comes a moment when your entire being will feel happy tasting what you desired.
My favorite definition sounds somehow the same, but still very different in its essence.
Happiness is the feeling that you have when you achieve what you desire.
Why does it sound the same? I think this is already obvious.
Then, why does it sound different? Because my favorite definition points to the existence of a contact point between your desire and the object you desire.
If we go back to the ice cream analogy (I like ice cream but you can substitute it with whatever you like more)…
You begin to eat the ice cream… and eat more… and maybe even more… but let’s admit it… even if several moments ago you thought that your deepest wish was to taste an ice cream… when you finally do it… the happiness begins to slowly disappear. More than this… if you insist to eat more than your body can take in… not only will you not feel happy anymore but for sure you’ll start to experience a lot of health problems.
Then… what exactly are we seeking?
Can we reach what we are seeking, without deeply understanding what it’s all about?
I am wondering… is it somehow possible for society to implement in our minds the lack of happiness but only on the surface level?
Is our society willing to see its own people happy or… is it only a matter of manipulation?
I am wondering… is it possible for us to find our own ultimate happiness, and have it last as much as we want it to last?
Will you want to come with me on this path of seeking Happiness?
Hi MC I have often wondered what we are actually pursuing. I have suffered from depression a few times because I never felt good enough or I couldn’t seem to achieve what I wanted. I always have a nagging feeling that I’m not quite living up to expectation! I am learning to love the small moments and not always striving to be somewhere else. The pursuit of happiness is flawed we can’t know happiness without sadness and indeed it surely cannot be permanent! There are too many pressures o have or to be something – can’t we just be us – shouldn’t that be enough?
Hi Melanie! Your comment touched the strings of my heart. I totally agree with you and I believe that the main problem that we have is exactly what you say… “can’t we just be us – shouldn’t that be enough?”.
I am now wondering if we would ever be able to influence things on a planetary level or will we have to individually change… long time from now.
Thank you so much for your comment! It is highly appreciated.