The Fall season installed one month ago, but it didn’t succeed to kill the green color of the leaves belonging to the tree outside my office window.
For three days long a heavy rain accentuated their color. A sudden memory, lost in time, was reborn inside my mind.
I was a child witnessing the battle between winter and spring when suddenly one day it stopped; the spring finally won over the ugly, freezing long term winter season. Through my window a ray of sun light fell touching the room’s floor. The blue-grey eyes belonging to the child that I was, started to shine even brighter than that ray of sunlight. A playful joy entered inside my heart. I remember how, for several minutes, my feet were playing with the sun’s ray. First my toes touched the shiny portion on the floor, tasting its warmth. Same toes went back and felt the coldness of the darker areas where the ray couldn’t reach. The memory of those moments made a leap in time, raising inside me now different grades of happiness. I still feel the bodily sensations like it’s all happening now.
And… I am wondering… What is a memory?
I know, they say that it is the power or process of reproducing or recalling in the mind, what has been learned and retained especially through the associative mechanism.
I now understand what happened earlier in my mind. My window, having the role of an associative mechanism, provided me the power to recall from a past moment, the act of admiring and playing with nature.
The Fall that couldn’t kill the leaves’ green color, reminded me of the spring season when the green is a new born. This moment brought back into my conscious mind, the Sun and its rays that are always making me want to play, touching with my feet the environment. I always preferred testing out a new degree of physical knowledge using my feet. Weird… I just realize now… I am never using my fingers first. Is it possible that my touch perception is more accurate through my toes? Or maybe I feel more confident that my feet can grasp a shocking event caused by the difference between what my body knows in its memory and what is ahead as an unknown variant. For sure I have to dig further into this.
Today… I am wondering about memories.
I used a window to recall my lost memories. They came from a period of time, in my childhood on this planet.
Now, I am wondering… how far back in time can I go to bring to surface hidden memories? A window could send me back in time… it was a big leap in time… but… what associative mechanism should I use to go even further back in time? Can I do this on demand? Or is it only a power that you can access by chance?
Does it or doesn’t it depend on my own will? The definition doesn’t mention who is handling the associative mechanism. My ego wants to presume that I am in charge for providing this mechanism.
My mind already gives me shivers making me believe that I can eventually use grades of windows, gates to a lost time, to influence and select the types of regained memories.
And now… I am wondering… can I cause a mechanism like this, using my mind but not necessitating the body’s sensations? And if I can finally do this… can my leap in time go even further… beyond my present physical body’s existence?