Today my mood for writing is null. I already stared at my laptop for more than 5 hours; suddenly so many things could be done, things which are barely crossing my mind usually. Trying to justify my lack, I was so productive in domains which were not urgent, and were not even necessary. I could do anything else except write; because the mood is not there.
It seems that as a writer, if you want to do things which you don’t want to do often, meaning to be very productive in those other domains, you have to reach that state called a non-writing mood.
Therefore, I am wondering now… What is this Mood?
Yes, of course I know what they say… the mood is a conscious state of mind or predominant emotion, a receptive state of mind predisposing to action.
I understand now that I am again wondering. If the mood is a conscious state of mind, does this mean that to have a mood for doing anything, you first have to be conscious? Alternatively, is the mood a condition of being conscious?
Moreover, my mood is an emotion. Than what is the lack of mood? Is it possible to be a lack of emotion? If my emotions are gone, does it mean that I reached a state of mind called internal peace? This is the only definition that I know for peace: a state in which nothing disturbs you, therefore a lack of emotions.
So, coming back to my first statement… does it somehow mean that reaching internal peace, it means to have a lack of mood for writing also? Can a writer ever reach this internal peace?
I was earlier wondering what a Mood was. In addition, thinking deeper about this, I started to wonder… What is peace?
A state of tranquility or quiet… this is peace. A total lack of emotions, this is my induced definition.
When I was a kid, I used to play with words and for some reason one of my favorite games was repeating a word until its meaning was lost in time and space. I loved that state in which my mind was empty and could not associate anymore a specific word to a specific object, action, or feeling.
What would happen if I would now play the same way by repeating “peace”, “peace”, “peace”…?
Is it necessary to do this to feel the depth of this state? Is it possible that by repeating the word peace, I would finally feel its depth only after losing its meaning?
Repeating and losing the meaning, means somehow a disconnection of mind from the material world. Will it be possible in that moment, to reach another dimensional state?
And if, as a human being, to reach another dimension necessitates loosing the meaning given by man… will I ever be able to understand what is beyond our world?
I am wondering how I can empty my mind in such a way, to no longer grasp any human meaning anymore.
My last question for today and I am done… is it somehow possible that to reach and feel the internal peace, the only condition necessary is losing the meaning of peace?
In other words, to deeply feel the essence of anything, is it mandatory to have no idea what that thing means from a human point of view?
Therefore, I am deeply wondering… Are we indeed free to feel Peace?