My new friend told the greatest news; the cancer test result came out good… she is completely healthy. A moment in time filled with fear of what was possibly going to happen, had just ended for her. I always wonder about these moments when all your life is suddenly changed, having to cross many worries and finally… all is great; because it was written in the Book of Life to be great.
This reminded me of faraway times, when I was a teenager. It all started with a mole. My mom had one that was located in an uncomfortable position, and had to be removed. The surgery went fine and the period after, was defined by “waiting”; waiting for the result to come back.
Normally we were a family who never worried for unnecessary things. But… that moment was different. A very important doctor talked with my parents, preparing them for any possibility… of course the final and the only possible variant being, in his opinion, “a positive test result”.
As much as you want to set your mind free and not attract unnecessary worries into your life… still… when a doctor brings to your attention a possible worst future, you loose the control you had over your rational side and everything seems to belong to an abyss after this.
Starting with that moment, I always believed that doctors are of two kinds: doctors who can heal your heart and doctors whose only goal is to instigate an unnecessary heart attack on any patient. I always wondered why they are not taught before receiving a medical diploma about the power of the subconscious mind; about the miracles that can happen when having positive thinking. Or, maybe they really know about this but feeling themselves miserable, they want to make others feel the same?
I will not wonder about this now; it is not my goal to find this answer.
The memory brought back from the past was about the moments of fear that my family crossed while waiting for my mom’s result. Being a teenager, the memories were engraved even more inside my mind. I always thought that the memory belonging to the childhood and teenage periods are the most powerful and influential in your whole life.
I remember how hard I tried to conquer my fear caused by thinking that something bad could happen, without even consciously choosing to think about it. To make the story short, I also remember the fear caused by the doctor’s incompetence when after exactly one month of waiting he announced to my parents that the test was lost and nobody could find the result. Another great doctor commented that it was probably a bad result, and no one wanted to announce this to the family. And… at that point, the real fear placed itself inside our family’s life. Before this moment, it was only a preparation… a sad and crazy preparation.
So… I am wondering now… What is Fear?
I know, they say that it is an unpleasant, often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger.
Then, if it is unpleasant, why do we want to attract it? What makes us feel so good in calling it inside our hearts and minds, something so unworthy of our attention?
Is it about the need of adrenaline? Is it because life would be boring if we would not feel fear? I sincerely don’t believe this.
But… I am wondering… why are there people who want to control us through fear? I am wondering… why do we need fear, especially since in most cases our fear proves to be non-sense?
And I still wonder… why worry? Because the definition states that it is an emotion caused by anticipation of danger? What is our reward as humans, if we worry for something that hasn’t yet happened and for which we have no idea if it will ever happen?
I am wondering… are we as humans aware of the power of our thoughts? Are we aware of the power of creating events and conditions through thinking about them before they enter into our material reality? Yes, it is said that we can create a beautiful world with the power of our thoughts… but… are we aware that we can create many events with our fears as well? Fear is an emotion caused by our anticipation to danger, but… fear is a Thought also. This thought has an incredible power!
I am wondering now… and I will always wonder… Who needs Fear and why?
And… most of all… What are we afraid of?