If you ever feel bad about procrastinating...
If you ever feel bad about procrastinating…

Again, I have one of those bad days. My muse ran away. Yes! Sure!… Is it really so?

I am wondering if she just ran away or I drove her to it, due to the many things I found to rather do, instead of starting to write what I had planned on writing; things that… believe me… were not at all that important.

I am wondering about procrastination. It is not the first time I wondered about this. However, this state seems to never leave me alone, so I have to wonder some more.

Why is it happening, what exactly is happening now? Why do I have to find so many excuses that only prevent me from starting to write? I have so many good reasons to write but still I am not doing it. The first deadline is only two weeks away. And? What am I doing? Of course… I found it more useful to wonder about procrastination than to continue to write.

I am always doing this. Waiting until the last moment, with no idea who is helping me and from what dimension, but for sure what must be done is always done in its due time.

They say procrastination is to be slow or late about doing something that should be done; to delay doing something until a later time because you do not want to do it.

I am really wondering now… is it somehow that I don’t want to do it? What if I tell you that all my life is depended on the act of writing? What if I say that, my future life relies upon what will happen after the two weeks is up when the deadline arrives… near me… and staring at me? In fact… it is already staring at me. I can feel this with all of my being.

No way… it isn’t true that I don’t want to do it. This part of the definition cannot apply to me. I came on this planet many years ago and I already know that even if I procrastinate in doing something until the very last minute, I will finally do it, and what will be completed will look great.

Then… what is my reason to proceed in this way?

Is it that I enjoy the increased adrenaline level as the last five minutes before the alarm rings in my head?

Or… is it somehow something deeper here? Deeper than anyone could ever asked when it is about procrastination.

I am wondering… Is it somehow the fact that I truly believe that someone or something is helping me do anything, anywhere, anyhow, anytime? Is it that I really believe that we humans can do anything if we really want to do it? Even if we do them in the last five minutes what was supposed to normally take one month to do? Am I exaggerating here? Or not?

I am wondering… Does it mean that I have so much faith in God, to procrastinate on everything, all my life… because… simply because I know He will always help me?

~ M.C. Simon

Grammarly Writing Support


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here